I remember so vividly. It was a Sunday morning, and I was getting ready for church. Then all of a sudden What’s Her Name was calling my phone. No, literally, that was the name saved in my phone. Think of it as a coping mechanism to avoid the anxiety attacks that I would experience just from seeing certain names come through on my phone.
By this point in my life, Malachi was 6 years old, I had been through 3 child support court battles, all of this while navigating the complete absence of my son’s bio dad. I had not heard or seen his father or step-mom since we last completed mediation.
So there I stood, watching the phone ring and to go to voicemail. Admittedly, I anxiously accessed my voicemail only to hear the sound my son’s father’s wife (we will call her Kay) as she asked me to call her back. Yep, you read that correctly, What’s Her Name was my son's step-mom and she needed to talk. What on earth could she want and what on earth would I call her back for?
What happened next was less than a prayer and more of an argument with God where I was telling Him why I should not call, with the biggest reason being I was finally healing and just didn't want to know.
I never thought she was evil. I knew she was a good person. But I also knew what it was like to be with someone like the person who our children shared as a father. I knew he was capable of manipulating someone to do just about anything if it meant he would prosper from it. But then God reminded me of 2 Corinthians 1:3-4:
3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.
Well that quickly ended my “prayerful” argument with God, and I proceeded with great caution and called her back. The conversation that took place that day would forever change my life.
“Hi Kay, this is Genessa.”
“Thank you for calling me back.”
Immediate tears
“I am sure you know, but he has been cheating on me.”
“I mean, I did not know, but I am not surprised. Our kids are the same age.”
Lots of tears
And our conversation goes on for over an hour. Looking back, I realize her true purpose of calling was to figure out how we can get the kids together, and possibly to start her own healing journey. She told me her daughter missed Malachi, and I knew Malachi missed his sister too. So, we planned a get together, and the rest is history. Don’t get me wrong, we did not instantly trust each, but we did give each other a chance.
That was 10 years ago, and I can’t help but think of all the ways God has used the pain I had for His good, as we began to develop this unique family unit. In the 10 years that have passed, I have had the opportunity to watch Malachi grow in his relationship with both siblings, with little to know interruptions. Kay and I have since done a lot of healing, met our soul mates and gotten married. We were able to share these experiences, and while it is not perfect, it is family.
As I reflect on that moment, I am thankful that I had the opportunity to heal enough to call her back. I am thankful she had the courage to call me in the first place. Our kids would never have known each other, and while everyone is still on the path to healing, we are now able to be on that path together. When Satan was working to hurt and terrorize our families, God was putting people where we needed to be and when we needed to be there. God knew at that moment in time, I would have had enough healing to call back, and I am so glad I did.
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